"My Dad Has Dementia-He's Being Horrible to Me!"




Aging parents who have “early dementia” are refusing help and verbally abusing their adult kids who are trying to help. In all these situations, the aging parent was a controlling type person before dementia developed. The nearby adult child is trying hard to protect mom or dad from himself or herself. The parent is uncooperative. In fact, in all these cases, the parent has turned on the very person who is trying to supervise, protect or otherwise do the right thing for Mom or Dad.

When your aging parent turns paranoid, accusatory, abusive and unreasonable, what can you do?

First, try to get cooperation from your aging parent’s doctor. Because of confidentiality, the doctor can’t discuss your parent’s medical affairs without your parent’s permission. If you don’t have permission, you can still communicate with the doctor, even if he/she can’t respond. You can write to him or her.

Second, if your aging parent is not only refusing help but is clearly unable to care for himself or herself, you can call a family meeting and brainstorm about the best way to approach your parent.

Third, if your parent is in danger with extreme self-neglect and he or she has alienated the family with abusive behavior, you can contact your local adult protective services, part of the social services department. Report the self-neglect. Be specific about what you see at your parent’s home.

For more go to: Forbes.com

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