The Resolution Blog

From the Resolution Blog It's Almost Spring Edition

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:35:50 GMT

Try Inspirational Walking

Image thanks to www.soundoflife.net/inspirirational-quotes-motivational-quotes-and-sayings

"Caregiver stress is well documented and extracts a heavy toll on both caregivers and their families. In the heat of trying to keep everything together, it is hard for caregivers to find effective strategies that offer some respite from the natural tendency to obsess and feel overwhelmed. Caregivers need a way to take their brains "offline," to momentarily disengage for anxious, closed-loop thinking, catch their emotional breath, and come back renewed observes David Solie who publishes the Second Half of Life Blog.

His suggestion inspirational walking - with a personalized sound track. His thesis:

Exercise clears the mind. Music inspires the heart.

Everyone is stiff and tight the first ten minutes and wonders if this is a good idea.

Everyone feels remarkably better at twenty minutes and are glad they took a walk.

Everyone feels better as they bring it home at end of thirty minutes and are sure it was good for their body, brain, and heart.

Long Term Care Insurance

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:25:57 GMT

Long Term Care Insurance Loophole

Image thanks to Stu's Views, Law and Lawyer Cartoons

One of the problems with long term care insurance is that many contracts were signed years ago, before new types of care facilities existed. People trying to live in such facilities are finding that their claims are denied because that type of facility was not included in their insurance policy.

The most notable example, a policy written in the 1980s or 1990s that covers and defines convalescent care. It does not include assisted living facilities because they did not exist at that time. Some long term care insurance companies are denying claims, arguing that assisted living facilities are not covered under the definition of convalescent care.

Seniors who signed their policies in the 1980s and 1990s thought they were taking care of their future. They thought they were guaranteeing that, no matter what, they would be looked after. Now they are finding out that their care is not entirely guaranteed, simply because an incredibly useful facility did not exist when the policy was signed. Once again, they are stuck paying the bills for something they thought was covered-something they paid premiums on so they would not be in this position.

What can they do? Contact an attorney who practices elder law to see if they have a case against their long term care insurance company. At the very least, they just may be able to get that assisted living facility covered.

House Ownership and Medicaid

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:16:19 GMT

This from Craig Reaves, immediate past president of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys

If a parent "spends down" to qualify for Medicaid, which will pay for nursing home care, can he or she still own a house?

The short answer is yes, Mom can keep her house and be on Medicaid. A house is an "exempt resource." But there are caveats. Most states set a $500,000 cap on the equity in her home. In a few (including California, Connecticut and New Mexico), it's a $750,000 cap. She won't qualify for Medicaid if her equity exceeds that, so she may need to borrow against the house to reduce her equity or to sell it.

A second caveat: The house may not be worth keeping anyway, unless a spouse, a child under 21 or a disabled child lives there. If parent is in a nursing home on Medicaid, all her income goes to the nursing home except for a very small monthly "personal needs allowance." There won't be enough money to cover real estate taxes, utilities and upkeep on the house.

And when the parent dies, the state will want to be repaid for its Medicaid outlays - this is called "estate recovery" - and will go after the house. Unless the parent doesn't live very long, leaving only a small amount to repay to Medicaid, there's no real incentive for the family to hold onto the house.

If there is a spouse or a child who is under 21 or disabled living in the house, however, then the occupant can use his own income to maintain the house. When the parent in the nursing home dies, the state can't pursue the value of the house for "estate recovery." In such a case, the $500,000 equity cap doesn't apply." Because state laws and individual situations vary, consult a local elder law attorney for more detailed advice.

Mr. Reaves fields legal questions from readers of the New Old Age Blog at the New York Times. You may submit yours to newoldage@nytimes.com.

2011 Budget

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:07:27 GMT

Caregiving Initiative Contained
in Obama's 2011 Budget

Image thanks to Seniors World Chronicle

The Caregiver Initiative provides significant boosts to three existing programs:

$50 million more for the National Family Caregiver Support Program, which gives grants to the 640 area agencies on aging around the country to provide local families with training, counseling, information and referrals, and respite care. Budgets for this 10-year-old program have stagnated for years while the elderly population and families' needs burgeoned; this appropriation represents a nearly 25 percent increase.

$2.5 million more for Lifespan Respite Care program, which doubles its financing. "Respite is critically important to keep people in their caregiving role by giving them a needed break," Ms. Ginzler said. The program - available to caregivers for disabled family members of any age - pays for brief stays in facilities, or short periods of home care, while family members take a vacation, attend a child's graduation ceremony or other family event, or just attend to their own lives for a few restorative days.

An additional $50 million - a nearly 12 percent increase - for the Home and Community Based Services program, which underwrites transportation services, participation in adult day programs and home care, again through local agencies on aging.

Get ready to contact your Senators and Representatives.

Medicare

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:00:12 GMT

Medicare Lawsuit For
Recovery of Medical Expenses

Image thanks to blogs.sch.gr

The U.S. government's first-of-its-kind lawsuit against all parties that settled a pollution liability case signals Medicare's aggressive push to make sure it does not pay medical expenses when others are to be the primary sources of payment.

Steven G. Mehta of Mediation Matters reports:

The suit filed Dec. 1, 2009, cites Medicare Secondary Payer provisions in federal law that allow Medicare to recover past and future medical expenses from all parties-insured and self-insured-involved in a liability claims award or settlement that includes Medicare-eligible individuals. The lawsuit seeks money from a $300 million global settlement reached in 2003 in a case that alleged injuries from exposure to polychlorinated biphenyls manufactured in Alabama.

The case breaks new ground because CMS simultaneously named insurers, settlement beneficiaries and plaintiffs attorneys all in one lawsuit. It serves notice that CMS will seek payments from defendants and plaintiffs in a liability settlement involving those eligible for Medicare.

The Rainforest Site

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:32:33 GMT

Don't forget And Its Sister Sites.

A Gentle Reminder:

Disgruntled Jurors

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:21:42 GMT

Weighed Down By Recession Woes,
Jurors Are Becoming Disgruntled

Image thanks to Stu's Views, Law and Lawyer Cartoons

As more people seek dismissal for financial hardship, their claims face much tighter scrutiny. In one case the jury pool was so rebellious and 'scary' that both sides agreed to let the judge alone decide. After three days of mounting juror insurrection in an employment discrimination case in Cal., lawyers for both the Plaintiff and the Defendant waived their right to a jury trial and left the verdict up to Judge.

In this time of double-digit unemployment and shrinking benefits for those who do have jobs, courts are finding it more difficult to seat juries for trials running more than a day or two. And in extreme cases, reluctance has escalated into rebellion, experts say. Money woes inflicted by the recession have spurred more hardship claims, especially by those called for long cases, say jury consultants and courtroom administrators. More than a quarter of all qualified jurors were released on hardship grounds last year, according to court statistics. And judges say they have seen more people request such dismissals in the last year

Conan O'Brien

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:13:09 GMT

How to Negotiate a Better Employment Contract
Than Conan O'Brien

Image thanks to OneMoreTickets.com

It looks like Conan O'Brien and NBC have reached a settlement. It's the whole fiasco could have been avoided if Conan had negotiated a more precise contract. When Conan signed his contract, he never imagined that NBC would consider changing the time slot of a show that has been synonymous with the 11:35 slot for close to 60 years. But when it comes to contracts, no one should ever assume anything.

Here are some steps you take to ensure that the next time you negotiate an employment offer, you walk away with a package that protects you and guarantees everything you negotiated for during the interview process. Here are some things to keep in mind.

Get Everything You Negotiate For In Writing. If the company does not routinely use offer letters or employment contracts, document everything you have negotiated for in a letter to the hiring manager and ask him to sign it and keep it in your employment file.

Review Non-Compete Clauses Carefully. The problem with some non-competes is that they are so broad that they can make it extremely difficult to find employment in the same industry or geography within a reasonable period of time

Make Sure The Obvious Is Obvious. If you negotiated for specific work hours, additional vacation time, an earlier salary review, etc. make sure all the numbers, times, and dates are formalized.

Don't feel too bad for Conan he stands to make $30 million from a job he held for less than 8 months.

Couples and Conflict

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:04:07 GMT

Couples with Shared Identity Better at Conflict Resolution

Image thanks to ClipARToday.com

From PsychCentral:

Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley finds couples who referred to themselves as "we" are more skilled in resolving conflicts that those who don't. In contrast, couples who emphasized their "separateness" by using pronouns such as "I," "me" and "you" were found to be less satisfied in their marriages. This was especially true for older couples.

Moreover, the study found that older couples identified more as "we" than did their middle-aged counterparts, suggesting that facing obstacles and overcoming challenges together over the long haul, including raising families, may give couples a greater sense of shared identity.

Workplace Conflict

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:52:02 GMT

From

The Harvard Medical, Dental, & Public Health Newsletter: Conflict Resolution in Health Care

A Four-step Approach to Problem-Solving

Four negotiation steps developed by the Program for Health Care Negotiation and Conflict Resolution guide minor and major negotiations in health care. The structured multidimensional problem-solving process is called "Walk in the Woods," after a famous story in which international negotiators at loggerheads over a nuclear arms treaty went for a walk in the woods near Geneva and discovered common interests that led to new solutions.

Step One: Self Interests. Each participant articulates his or her view of key problems, issues, and options. They are encouraged to actively listen, question, and interact with one another.

Step Two: Enlarged Interests. The participants reframe their understanding of current problems and possible options with a wider perspective, based on the integrative listening and confidence-building that occurred in step one.

Step Three: Enlightened Interests. The group is ready to engage in innovative thinking and Problem-Solving, Generating Ideas And Perspectives That Had Not Previously Been Considered.

Step Four: Aligned Interests. Participants build common ground perspectives, priorities, action items, agreement, or plans for moving forward. Depending on the scope of the intended objectives, at this point they recognize the tangible contributions

Dollar Stretcher

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:40:17 GMT

Money Topics For Surviving Tough Times

Mediation Jobs Myths, Part Two

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:09:50 GMT

While Mediation Is Currently An Unregulated And Unlicensed Field, With Low, Formal Barriers To Entry, There Are High De Factor Barriers

Mediation Jobs Myths

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:00:58 GMT

The Supply Of Willing Mediators Far Exceeds The Demand For Their Services

Aging Parents and Conflict Resolution

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 23:30:32 GMT

That irritation triggered by conflict has a ripple effect throughout your family, poisoning relationships and damaging trust.

Aging Parents and Conflict Resolution: Key Communication Skills

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 23:20:39 GMT

Key to Resolving and Avoiding Conflict at this Stage of Life is an understanding of what your aging parents are experiencing.

Aging Parents and Conflict Resolution: Sibling Rivalty

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 23:02:16 GMT

Caring for elderly parents inflames old sibling rivalries.

Aging Parents and Conflict Resolution: Warning Signs Of Financial Problems

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:55:19 GMT

Concerned about your aging parents' finances? Use this guide to gauge how your aging parents are doing - and what to do if they need help.

Aging Parents and Conflict Resolution: 5 Warning Signs Of Health Problems

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:49:34 GMT

Concerned about your aging parents' health? Use this guide to gauge how your aging parents are doing - and what to do if they need help.

Elder Justice Act

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:28:55 GMT

Help Pass the Elder Justice Act

On Christmas eve, the U.S. Senate took a historic step toward protecting our elders from being beaten neglected or exploited - our Senators, for the first time, passed the full Elder Justice Act by including it in their health care bill.

Image thanks to open.salon.com.

The Elder Justice Act creates a combined law enforcement and public health approach to study, detect, treat, prosecute and, most importantly, prevent elder abuse, neglect and exploitation. After 25 years of congressional hearings on elder abuse without a legislative response, the Elder Justice Act marks the beginning of new horizons in the detection and prevention of elder abuse.

And, you can make a difference by urging our Senators and Representatives to pass the bill. Go to: the Elder Justice Now Website and Urge Congress to Pass the Elder Justice Act. Also please forward this information to others that you know and ask them to do the same.

Bargaining-

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:16:43 GMT

How To Bargain Like
A Hostage Negotiator

This Canadian Business Article is from an interview with one of my favorite conflict resolution bloggers, Steve Mehta's Mediation Matters.

Image thanks to cartoonstock.com

Effective negotiators are quick to establish credibility, restore calm and devise an exit strategy. Mehta argues that the psychological underpinnings of hostage negotiation are often applicable in volatile workplace scenarios, including negotiating severance, asking for a raise, or smoothing things over after a major crisis. "[These techniques] will help you in every situation," he says, "but especially the more emotional ones."

Transporting your inner high-stakes negotiator into the workplace is a five-step process according to Mehta.

Establish Open Lines Of Communication With Your Adversary. Studies show that the more that people like you, the more they're open to your message.

Identify Who Is Ultimately In Charge. If you're talking to the lackey, it's not going to do you any good.

Restore Calm To A Charged Situation. Restoring calm mostly happens by listening to the other side. Listen to understand, not to argue. Ask questions - and lots of them - to gather information to build your case. . Once you understand your adversary's position, you can begin to brainstorm a working strategy to resolve the crisis.

With Your Adversary Softened Up, It's Time To Persuade Him Or Her To See Things Your Way. Explain where you're coming from, what you're hoping for, and why it would benefit them as well as you. Remember, people don't respond well to threats. . Consider any and all solutions.

With A Deal Just About Struck, Make Sure You Have An Exit Strategy That Will Leave Both Parties Feeling Secure And Satisfied. To save face, hostage-takers will make last-minute demands, like 'I don't want to go out in cuffs!' Everyone has to justify to someone so be sure to leave the other side a way to save face.

Mind Control

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:02:29 GMT

Mind Control Game

Mattel has created a new mind control toy, Mind Flex. The game uses brain waves to power a fan that moves a ball through an obstacle course.

You can Watch the CBS Video below:

The More You Win, The More You Lose

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:16:46 GMT

Online Poker Study:
The More Hands You Win,
The More Money You Lose

Image thanks to The Critical Thinker

This is the finding of a new Cornell study of online poker although it seems counterintuitive. According to the study's author, Cornell sociology doctoral student Kyle Siler, whose study analyzed 27 million online poker hands, multiple wins are likely for small stakes, and the more you play, the more likely you will eventually be whacked by occasional - but significant - losses.

This finding, Siler said, "coincides with observations in behavioral economics that people overweigh their frequent small gains vis--vis occasional large losses, and vice versa." In other words, players feel positively reinforced by their streak of wins but have difficulty doing the "cognitive accounting" to fully understand how their occasional large loss offsets their gains.

How does poker apply to negotiation. Well, negotiations is a lot like poker. You start with a hand that you are dealt. While you can change some of the cards, or variables, others you are stuck with. At the beginning you know something of the other side's hand. As things play out you learn more but there is still much uncertainty and the risks and costs get higher. You are always acting with imperfect information but have to still move forward constantly evaluating and sometimes changing your strategy. In the end it's not only strategy but also luck that will determine how well you do.

It's A Small World and Getting Smaller

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:01:46 GMT

Recovery and Globality:
There Are Hopeful Signs

But We Aren't Out of the Woods Yet

The U.S. economy slowly appears to be regaining its footing. The unemployment rate declined for the first time since the recession began, sliding from 10.2 in October to 10 in November and holding steady in December. Although the fourth-quarter 2009 statistics aren't available, some predict that the U.S. economy may have expanded in the second half of last year by more than 3.

Europe appears to be lagging, but the economies of China, India, Singapore, Indonesia, and South Korea, among others, are growing robustly again. U.S. companies will be competing with companies from all over the globe-for markets, customers, talent, and the materials needed to produce whatever they sell. Recessions and recoveries don't change the laws of supply and demand; they magnify them.

The three most important factors are: 1) the continuing growth of the middle class in the rapidly developing economies of Africa, Asia, Latin America, and Central and Eastern Europe; 2) the large-scale infrastructure investments that are taking place in those countries; and 3) the emergence in Africa, Asia, Latin America, and the former Soviet empire of a huge low-income-consumer cohort.

All of these factors-the emergence of an unprecedented low-income consumer cohort, increases in infrastructure expenditures, and the growth of the global middle class-will keep pushing commodity prices higher. However, U.S. executives need to focus less on commodity prices, which they can influence only marginally, and more on how to benefit from globality. A billion new consumers around the world are hungry for goods and services as the middle class expands. For many companies, this demographic shift will define the future.

Lieutenant Columbo

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:52:58 GMT

Peter Falk as Lieutenant Colombo is one of the all time great cop shows and one of my favorite detectives. Colombo never carried a gun. There were no chase scenes or violence. But Colombo always got his man or woman. Colombo's interrogation technique, unique to him, emphasized many qualities of good negotiation including:

Letting Your Opponent Underestimate You.

Using Hypotheticals To Test Theories

Doing Your Homework So You Have Superior Information

Here's a Great Example!

Uncertainty Drives Conflict Resolution

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:40:39 GMT

Uncertainty Drives Conflict
Resolution, A Lesson From
An Experienced Mediator

Image thanks to conceptualist.com

Negotiator Overconfidence is a well established phenomena. Its outcome is to make reaching agreement harder as a party who is overconfident tends to be less concessionary and more dogmatic. In this article an experienced mediator, Alex Wisner, explains how fanning the flames of uncertainty is often the key to conflict resolution.

Wisner has developed The Index of Over-Optimism, a tool he developed and uses in his evaluation of the status of a mediation. Initially, he asks each side to privately reveal his or her opinion of the likelihood of success at trial is. Keep in mind that Weisner believes that "slam dunks" win, at best, 75-80 of the time. He then takes the two numbers, adds them together, and establishes the Index of Over-Optimism.

"The lowest reasonable number would be 100. That would be when each side measures the likelihood of success at 50. More typically, the Index ranges from 120 to 160. In some cases both parties have felt 90 sure of success at trial, for an index of 180. The Index is a measure of the degree of difficulty presented in reaching agreement based on the evaluation as stated by the parties. I emphasize this because too often the percentage given does not reflect the true opinion of the party, but rather what the party wants the mediator to think.

The primary reason parties are anxious to mediate, regardless of what they say or how they act out the outset, is because, when all is said and done, they're uncertain of the result. Paradoxically, the more certainty they've shown up to that time, the more worried they often are about the potential of failure.

In my experience, the more uncertain the parties are about the outcome in court, the more amenable they will be to all the other solutions available to them in mediation. These solutions can include simple distributive negotiation, a mediator's proposal, creative construction of terms, or anything else that works for the parties.

The same principles are at work in any negotiation, whether mediated or not.

Monument To Peace

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:26:17 GMT

Monument To Peace and
Conflict Resolution

Image thanks to: The U.S. Institute of Peace.

Along the National Mall in Washington, D.C., memorials honor the service of Americans in wartime, but the site's newest addition will be one that fosters conflict resolution and peace. The 150,000-sq-ft permanent headquarters for the U.S. Institute of Peace, being built at the mall's northwest corner near the Lincoln Memorial and the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge over the Potomac river, will greet visitors with a dramatic new structure that its designers say both respects the context of its historic surroundings and offers a strikingly modern contrast. Substantial completion for the entire project is scheduled for October 2010.

Suppressed Anger

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:04:34 GMT

Suppressed Anger
Damages the Heart

Image thanks to: www.cartoonstudio.co.uk

That is precisely what a University of Stockholm, Stress Research Institute study found. The Swedish study found that men seem to lack experience in venting their stress, which exposes them to heightened risks for cardiovascular ailments and heart attack. The researchers interviewed 2,800 employees and found a surprising correlation between accumulated anger and ensuing heart problems.

The study results pointed out the immense benefits of practicing conflict resolution. Outcomes for those dealing effectively with conflicts prolonged their lives. Those who took conflicts lightly had a much better chance for long-term survival compared to those who were unable to resolve conflicts. Those who kept a cool head and were able to deal with a situation resolved problems better.

Kids Rap

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:54:44 GMT

Kids Rap - Conflict
Resolution And Respect

A rap video about how to resolve interpersonal conflict by a group of elementary school kids. It's cute and catchy.

White Lies: Fibbing In The Name Of Love

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:47:29 GMT

White Lies: Fibbing
In The Name Of Love

Image thanks to cartoonstock.com

Most people in relationships do it: tell what they consider tiny, benign lies to keep the peace or salvage a partner's feelings. But is it always harmless? Most couples and relationship experts agree that white lies in moderation and that have little consequence are fine, especially if the fibbing comes from a place of love. But, if you're a chronic white liar, you may be avoiding a conflict that needs to be discussed and resolved.

To determine if your white lies are destructive ask yourself these questions:

How often are you telling a white lie?

Are your white lies about the same issue? Are you afraid to have a discussion about it?

Do you feel like you are accepted for who you really are?

Have you communicated your needs to your partner?

Do you and your partner have good conflict resolution skills?

What's a Bailed-Out Banker Really Worth?

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:38:17 GMT

What's a Bailed-Out
Banker Really Worth?

Image thanks to drawnbymike.com

Last August, as midnight approached on a Friday, two staffers sat in a cramped basement office in the Treasury Building and watched their e-mail in-boxes fill up. The aides worked for Kenneth Feinberg, the government's special master for executive compensation, and they were awaiting submissions from companies that had received (and not yet paid back) billions in what federal regulations call "exceptional assistance" from the government's Troubled Asset Relief Program, or TARP.

The government had the authority to set compensation levels at those seven TARP recipients, and this was the companies' opportunity to plead for salaries and bonuses for each of its top 25 executives. Chrysler Financial and General Motors submitted their proposals - about 2,000-plus pages each - a few days before. Now the other five - A.I.G., Bank of America, Chrysler, Citigroup and General Motors Acceptance Corporation - were frantically trying to get their pitches in by the Aug. 14 deadline.

Feinberg has said jokingly that he loves "jobs that seem so hard that they have a low bar for success." This one, for which he is not accepting a salary, fits the bill. In proposals from the TARP Seven and in confrontations that followed, Feinberg would hear arguments that Main Street America would find incredible. Citigroup and Bank of America, for example, concluded that everyone in their executive suites was above average when compared with peers at other giant banks that didn't need a bailout.

Or there was A.I.G.'s behind-closed-doors argument against Feinberg's directive to pay its top people in large part with A.I.G. stock. The company's reasoning? That the stock - trading briskly at the time at around $40 on the New York Stock Exchange - was actually worthless. Yet Feinberg would be pushed by staff at Treasury and officials of the Federal Reserve Bank to accept that argument and others in order to keep the captains of these broken companies from quitting.

When Feinberg announced his pay packages in late October, he found a way to give something to everyone. The public enjoyed a measure of revenge: Feinberg's ultimate rulings looked hard-nosed when compared with what the executives used to make. Yet the leaders of these failed companies still ended up winning big paydays - an average of $6.5 million to each Bank of America executive and $6.2 million to those at Citigroup.

95 Year Old Investor Beats Elder Fraud!

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:22:45 GMT

95 Year Old Investor
Beats Elder Fraud!

Image thanks to Kyle Baker.com

Recently a Financial Industry Regulatory Authority panel awarded elderly investor, David Wolfson, $1.6 million in a case involving StockCross Financial Services Inc. of Beverley Hills, Calif. Mr. Wolfson accused StockCross, along with two of its brokers, of misconduct and self dealing. He claimed the brokers recommended and solicited unsuitable and overly risky investments that were actively traded on margin.

The arbitrators awarded Mr. Wolfson $320,000 in compensatory damages and $960,000 in damages for elder abuse. They also awarded the 95-year-old $234,000 in legal fees, expert witness fees of $62,000, various costs of $21,000 and $10,000 as sanctions for failing to follow discovery orders.

Elder Foreclosure Crisis

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:10:50 GMT

An Elder Foreclosure Crisis
Rooted, the Family Says,
in Predatory Lending

Image thanks to chuckschuckles.com
"Okay lady, how much discount
DO you want?"

Giuseppa Bagnarol, 82, was in her final hours in August, dying at home surrounded by the large family she presided over as matriarch. They gathered to say goodbye at the bucolic Redwood City retreat Mrs. Bagnarol had created - a compound of three homes cascading down a steep hillside where she raised chickens. Some of her children and grandchildren live on the grounds.

But that night an unwanted visitor arrived: a process server delivered papers that ordered Mrs. Bagnarol and her family to get out. Mrs. Bagnarol died the next day. The timing of the visit wasn't the only source of anger. The predatory lending practices that resulted in loans that plunged Mrs. Bagnarol deeper into debt with each mortgage payment, to the point of financial ruin were also a cause.

In recent years, 70 percent of the elderly have been solicited to take out new mortgages, according to a survey by AARP. Older people seem to be targeted in part because they own their houses and have owned them for a long time and have equity in their houses.

The types of loans Mrs. Bagnarol received were popular at the time. Sold under names like Option/ARM and "Pick-a-Payment," borrowers could make minimum payments that did not cover the entire amount due. The balance was then added back into the loan, increasing the overall debt. Eventually the debt became due, creating huge monthly payments that she could not afford.

Critics blame these loans for helping to cause the housing market crash. Lawmakers agree - as of Jan. 1, it is illegal to write this type of loan in California. Family members say that when they tried to pay on behalf of their mother, the bank was uncooperative. Events snowballed into foreclosure, followed by eviction notices. The family is divided but some members have filed a lawsuit. You can read the whole story at: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/08/us/08sfmetro.html

Medicare Special Focus Facilities

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:48:56 GMT

The Centers For Medicare & Medicaid
Services (CMS) Is Making Public A List Of Nursing Homes Designated
Special Focus Facilicies (SFF). ,

An SFF is a nursing home that has, "failed to improve significantly after being given the opportunity to do so." The list includes categories such as:

New Additions: Nursing homes added to the list within the past six months

Not Improved: Nursing homes that have not improved significantly in at least one survey after being added to the SFF list

Improving: Nursing homes that have significantly improved

Recently Graduated: Nursing homes that have sustained improvement for 12 months

No Longer in Medicare and Medicaid: Nursing homes that were either terminated by CMS or chose not to continue participation in Medicare and Medicaid.

Issues with nursing homes on the SFF list include not properly giving residents their medication (including the correct doses at the correct times), not taking steps to prevent abuse or neglect, using restraints inappropriately, and not properly treating or preventing bedsores. According to CMS, there are approximately 131 active nursing homes with the SFF designation. For more go to: http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com/features/nursing-home-organization.html

Chatham's Fish Pier

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 22:44:37 GMT

Chatham Fish Pier is best in late afternoon when the fishing boats return to unload their daily catch

Chatham's Monomoy Islands History and Geography

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:33:19 GMT

Just south of Chatham lie the two small islands called North and South Monomoy.

Chatham Seals

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:29:19 GMT

A Chatham's seal tour of is one of the best family adventures on the Cape or anywhere.

Chatham's Monomoy Islands

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:28:39 GMT

Just south of Chatham, lie two small islands, North Monomoy and South Monomoy

Chatham Anglers, Our Hometown Team

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 00:19:29 GMT

Chatham A's Games are Great Family Fun. They are played in late afternoon and early evening; a perfect time after a day at the beach.

Downtown Chatham

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 01:05:48 GMT

Downtown Chatham is very walkable and picturesque.

First Night Chatham

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:22:36 GMT

Chatham's First Night is a family-oriented, non-alcoholic celebration offering something for everyone.

Chatham, Christmas By The Sea

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:34:22 GMT

Make It Merry, Make It Special, Make It Chatham.

Conflict Resolution Jobs

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:48:12 GMT

Have you ever considered a career in conflict resolution?

The Art of Apology in Conflict Resolution

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:43:24 GMT

Saying Sorry - The Ritual of Apology

Divorce Mediation Experience

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:03:24 GMT

One Woman's Shares Her Divorce Mediation Experience

Apology and Conflict Resolution, Why It Works

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:13:48 GMT

An Apology is Good Common Sense and Good Business

Preventing Workplace Violence

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:52:17 GMT

Preventing Violence
In The Workplace,

From the Inc. magazine newsletter

Image thanks to Sreejiths NETwork

"The recent murder of Yale University student Annie Le has sparked a national discussion on workplace violence, and what businesses can do to better prepare for such incidents. Though the Yale incident is a rare extreme of workplace violence, a survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that other incidents of workplace violence, such as domestic violence that spills over into the workplace and criminal activity, are not as uncommon. Out of the 7.1 million private businesses surveyed in 2005, more than 350,000 reported occurrences during the year leading up to the study."

"A lot of times these types of situations are avoided, because they think it'll blow over," states Ashley Virtue, director of marketing and development at the San Diego-based National Conflict Resolution Center. (NCRC) "One thing we find is that most managers actually know when a conflict is going on," Virtue says. "The first thing we talk about is using the process to give yourself[ves] the confidence to step in and deal with the situation." The article cites an NCRC four-step method, called "The Exchange," which employers and managers can use to deescalate situations on the job."

The Steps Include:

Meeting With Each Employee,

Spending Time Alone To Assess The Issue,

Having A Joint Meeting With All Involved Parties,

Coming To A "Problem-Solving" Session Of The Meeting.

If you are interested in Conflict Resolution Training to Decrease Workplace Violence, please use our Contact Page and we will be happy to provide more information.

Negotiation Pitfalls

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:40:11 GMT

Six Negotiation Pitfalls to Avoid

From

Good tips to follow.

Poor Planning. After preparing your own agenda, outline the same for your opponents: What are their preferences, alternatives, and bottom line? Once at the bargaining table, test your hypotheses to determine what the opposition's priorities really are. Prepare a written goal and analysis sheet for yourself.

Thinking The Pie Is Fixed. Usually it's not. You may make this common mistake when there is a "congruent issue," when both parties want the same thing. This is a common assumption but often wrong. [At least one GSB professor has found that] 20 to 35 percent of the students assume it's a fixed pie and miss an opportunity to get what both parties want.

Failing To Pay Attention To Your Opponent. One way to get inside your opponent's head and influence his/her attitude is to shape the issues for them, a technique called "framing." If you get your opponent to accept your view of the situation, then you can influence the amount of risk s/he is willing to take.

Assuming That Cross-Cultural Negotiations Are Just Like "Local" Negotiations. [A cross-culturally] sensitive negotiator . . . capitalize[s] on the differences [among] cultures . . .

Paying Too Much Attention To Anchors. Anchors are part of a bargaining dynamic known as "anchoring and adjustment." This involves clearly setting the parameters for negotiation.

Caving In Too Quickly. Accepting a well-priced deal too quickly can cause anger on the other side or make them wonder if they couldn't have gotten a better deal. No matter what the price, even if it's fair, always offer less -if only to make your opponent feel good about the deal. You may come up to full price in the end, but at least your opponent will feel as if he made you work for it. [See "The Haggle" below.]

Don't Gloat. Always praise the deal they got no matter what, it is the cheapest concession you can make. When you've cut a sweet deal, never do the dance of joy in public by turning to your opponents and telling them you would have done it for less. Gloating will only drive your opponent to extract the difference from you sometime in the future.

Conservatism and Compromise

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:33:39 GMT

Conservatism Has Been Converted Into A Religious Belief, And Now Compromise Doesn't Have A Prayer

Image thanks to Politics Department, Occidental College

Remember the Congressman Who Yelled, "You Lie," During the President's Health Care Speech to Congress?

So does this columnist from the L.A. Times who takes the view that:

"For centuries, American democracy as a process of conflict resolution has been based on give-and-take; negotiation; compromise; the acceptance of the fact that the majority rules, with respect for minority rights; and, above all, on an agreement to abide by the results of a majority vote. It takes compromise, even defeat, in stride because it is a fluid system. As historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr. once put it, the beauty of a democracy is that the minority always has the possibility of becoming the majority."

Religious fundamentalism, on the other hand, rests on immutable truths that cannot be negotiated, compromised or changed. In this, it is diametrically opposed to liberal democracy as we have practiced it in America. Democrats of every political stripe may defend democracy to the death, but very few would defend individual policies to the death. You don't wage bloody crusades for banking regulation or the minimum wage or even healthcare reform. When politics becomes religion, however, policy too becomes a matter of life and death, as we have all seen.

This political fundamentalism has also invaded the general culture in deleterious ways. The ugly incivility of recent months is partly the result of political fundamentalists who have nothing but contempt for opposing viewpoints, which gives them license to shout down opponents or threaten them, just as jihadis everywhere do. Those who oppose the religification of politics may think all they have to do is change tactics, but they are sadly, tragically mistaken. They can never win, because for the political fundamentalists, this isn't political jousting, this is Armageddon."

Resolution 1888

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:24:42 GMT

It's About Time: Resolution
Passed To Protect Women
in Conflict Situations.

U.N. Passes Unanimously a Resolution to Combat Sexual Violence as a Tactic of War

Secretary Clinton delivered remarks on the adoption of a UNSC resolution to combat sexual violence in armed conflict. Read the remarks in full, Or Watch Them Below.

And,

Resolution 1889

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:20:19 GMT

UN Calls For Participation Of Women Towards Peace-Building.

Image thanks to UN Nongovernmental Liason Office

UNITED NATIONS, Oct. 5 (Xinhua) -- The UN Security Council on October 6, 2009 unanimously adopted Resolution 1889, calling for the international community and member states to ensure that women have full participation in all stages of conflict resolution It placed emphasis on equal participation for women in peace and security issues.

Resolution 1889 reaffirmed the role women play in the development and implementation of post-conflict strategies, noting their specific perspectives. "We now need to identify practical ways to assure women a central role in peacekeeping and post-conflict peacekeeping--that is, we need to improve our record in implementing resolution 1325," said Philip Parham, deputy permanent representative of the United Kingdom. Full text.